s u b t e r r a n i a n . w a y

When I think about how much time I spend underground, I feel a little weird; on a daily basis, I spend countless hours down in the darkness, speeding through dark tunnels and waiting idly with strangers on the edge of platforms in hollow spaces dug below earth and concrete. 

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One of my favourite books takes place primarily in the New York subway system: The Sword of Maiden's Tears by Rosemary Edghill. It's a dark tale of an elvish lord running around underground Manhattan searching for a missing magical sword and the cannibalistic monster which it spawned; it's mysterious and witty and romantic and makes me swoon. (I'm a sucker for fantasy, especially urban fantasy, and extra especially urban fantasy starring elves).

Often when I'm on the car, I look out into the passing darkness and think about things like the aforementioned people eater or Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train (a movie about other tunnel murder monsters which I'm simultaneous morbidly fascinated by and too afraid to watch). 

s u n l i g h t

u n - p o k e r . f a c e

I've been told that I have an expressive face: scowls, smiles, pouts, stares, squints. As much as I'd like to sometimes, I can't hide my feelings. I can't really understand people who embrace the "poker face" mentality, although I suppose that I do appreciate it. 

d i s t r a c t e d

s p r o u t

My roomie and I have somehow managed to grow a pretty substantial jungle on our back patio; there's even a magestic patch of waist-high Queen Anne's lace (my favourite).

Coincidentally, all of the plants that we put there on purpose (cacti, herbs, an aloe vera) aren't doing so well. It's funny how something left alone will flourish while things that you try to make happen fail. 

s h a r p

I've been interested in geometric shapes lately. Organic lines are my comfort zone, but I find triangles alluring: the way they stack and connect like sleek puzzle pieces. Diamonds, daggers.

s p l a s h

Well, it took all summer but I finally made it to the beach! (Albeit, it was only for a fifteen minute post-work walk). 

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Water water water.

My favourite movie growing up was The Little Mermaid; I lived in the bathtub, played, read and even ate meals in the warm water (with bubbles); I wanted to grow my hair down past my bum like a mermaid princess; I spent summers in the pool with my cousins, playing elaborte role-playing games.

I look into the glittering depths and wonder after the mysteries contained beneath: a swirling and secret realm of shadows and scintillating sunbeams, of floating freedom. The dichotomy of water is endless: the Waves hold the potential for life and for death, for both tranquility and violence, for calm or chaos.

w a n d e r

Remembering, forgetting, amnesia, secrets, lies, truths, goals, hopes, dreams, nightmares. 

Time and place, coming and going, drifting away.

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When I was little, I would walk to the wide windows of my bedroom and survey the land beyond; I gazed across the treetops and field and imagined that I was a princess in a tower, on the verge of adventure. 

As children, the capacity to manipulate existence with the mind is magic. Eventually, the world, it's rules and expectations fade those abilities away...but maybe it would be better if we  still allowed ourselves to detach from reality. 

f i s h i n g

Voila, new illustrations. Click here to see more fishing fun!

w o r d s

s t a r s

Digitally coloured drawing, 2013.

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She is who she wants to be, goes where she pleases, achieved all of her dreams—when her eyes are closed.

p u g . p i c n i c

I

When Josh and I first met, we quickly discovered that we had a freakish number of things in common: we share a hometown, have friends in common and both have family pugs. That's my family's guy up there, Charlie. Josh's family has two: Hank, whose tongue perpetually hangs out of his mouth in the most adorable way possible, and Charlotte, a brindled botson terrier-pug mix. There's something enderaring about pugs (mainly their plump little bodies, scrunched up noses and lust for snacks).

Charlie is infamous in my family for his cunning when it comes to food. For example, once he pushed a chair up to the kitchen table, jumped up and ate an entire pizza that had been left unatteded there (although legend has it that he left one perfect slice, sans cheese, untouched). I can personally vouch for his voracious appetite: another time, Charlie dove face first into my bowl of noodles and scarfed down the majority of them with a passionate fury until I yanked him out. Everyone in my family knows to a) never leave food unattended within dog reach and b) never wrap food-based gifts and leave them under the Christmas tree. Although he's getting on in years now, he's practically a puppy, slender and spry and still in love with his munchies. Indeed, Charlie is invincible; he even once ate a box of Jack Daniels chocolates (I know, I know).

Josh's pugs love their treats just as much; they nosh on cheese and steak (lucky pooches). So naturally, when we stumbled upon a little place in Stratford called The Barkery (yes!), Josh and I had to step inside. There were a bunch of excellent cookies for dogs, but we settled on little pseudo hotdogs to take home to the puppies (or jujes, as Josh calls them).

Hank and Char seemed a little underwhelmed by their cookies; Hank carried his over to the couch where he sat beside it scowling, tongue out. Char nibbled away for a while, bringing her hotdog to different locations, chewing and dropping and picking it back up. This all made me laugh; I told Josh that I thought his pugs were broken (pugs not wolfing down food? what?). As predicted, Charlie inhaled his biscuit within seconds and seemed to enjoy it. (I have to admit, I took a taste as well before giving the cookies to the dogs and they were pretty good!).

b y . t h e . r i v e r

Last weekend was spent exploring a litte city by the river, Stratford. We found some excellent street art, visited an organic outdoor market, ate lots of delicious food (mostly sweets!) and hung out with a bunch of happy ducks (they were fearless and waddled right up to around my ankles; they also kept chasing after one another and picking feathery fights).

r o a d . t r i p

There's a joyful peace to be found in the wild openness of the country side. Everytime I take a drive between cities, I glimpse it: the fields and trees inspire daydreams in me of rustic adventures and sleepy moments in quiet locations. I feel in awe of the natural world, a place of majesty and mystery. I feel an electric surge of potential, hear it whispered in the rushing wind. The endless sky speaks to me, and I feel serene and sure that somewhere, I'll find what I'm looking for. 

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Last weekend, Josh and I took a little trip to Stratford for my birthday, to see my favourite musical, Fiddler on the Roof. The drive to and from our destination was picturesque! We had an awesome time zipping down the sunny highway, wind rushing through the windows as we sang along to the radio (some of us better than others...I'm terrible). 

t a n k

Do you ever feel like you spend so much time studying and emulating others that you forget how to be yourself? That's my creative trap — I look around and wonder how other (successful looking) people thrive and then a) berate myself for not being like them and b) try to mimic them and feel deflated when I can't. I've gone and done it again, hence the sparsity around here. Oops.

I'll tell you what snapped me out of it (a little): Lori Petty as Tank Girl.

I bought the VHS in high school for three dollars, based solely on the wacky appeal of its cover (bright yellow! goggles! pouting red lips!); the clerk who cashed me out said something like "oh, wow, that movie eh?" and I remember asking if that meant it was horrible. He laughed and said that I'd see for myself when I watched it...and once I watched — nay, experienced — Tank Girl for the first time, I was in awe of Lori's easy laugh and relaxed coolness; she was silly and strong and full of cleverness and I LOVED her. I vowed  to be just as unafraid and nonchalant in my own life, to be unapologetically real and enjoy everything.

Somehow, I'd forgotten how inspiring Tank's half-shaved rainbow hair and sassy quips were in the years since then. Her jubilant exclamation of "Aw, man!" drifted into my daydreams recently, and, happily, all the aforementioned came back to me. Lesson learned: calm down, loosen up and be yourself!

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The other morning on my walk to work, I passed a woman while crossing the street and did a long double take. She was wearing the most perfect shades of peach and pea green together (blouse and cardigan). I felt like a bit of a creep leering at a stranger; I wish it was socially acceptable to congratulate passers by on their sartorial choices.

a u g u s t

This, I really can't believe. It's August already; I'm hot, sweaty and tired and the summer's been a blur. Have I accomplished my seasonal goals yet? Kinda, sorta, a little bit. I haven't been to the beach, but it's on the horizon! I haven't really "read" any new books yet, although I did reactivate my Audible account and listened to Sophie Kinsella's new book, Wedding Night (that almost counts, right?).

One thing that I have managed to stick with is my healthiness regime (more or less). I'm ecstatic to admit that I've managed to lose almost 20lbs since April, which I must say, feels excellent! I've also been keeping up on challenging myself to "dare to bare" more skin these past summer months; a few weekends ago, I wore a pair of shorts for the first time in forever, and I've actually felt fairly comfortable wearing sleeveless dresses (for a girl whose year-round uniform includes tights and a cardigan, this is a pretty big deal).

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Hope that your August is filled with adventures and accomplishments!
Here are a few of my favourite posts from the past month: