w a n d e r

Remembering, forgetting, amnesia, secrets, lies, truths, goals, hopes, dreams, nightmares. 

Time and place, coming and going, drifting away.

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When I was little, I would walk to the wide windows of my bedroom and survey the land beyond; I gazed across the treetops and field and imagined that I was a princess in a tower, on the verge of adventure. 

As children, the capacity to manipulate existence with the mind is magic. Eventually, the world, it's rules and expectations fade those abilities away...but maybe it would be better if we  still allowed ourselves to detach from reality. 

h e a r t a c h e

I feel the need to explain; I feel slow yet chaotic, tired and low.

Empathy: the thing that, at times, makes me feel as if I can't breathe, can't function. It's the distracting pang of sadness for a stranger I've never met, the lingering worry for the fate of someone whose path I've briefly crossed. I imagine the places where I was while they were suffering and can barely think of anything else.

I say I'm sorry often, not because I feel guilty for the pain of others, but because I regret their unhappiness, their discomfort, their anguish. I'm sorry means I wish this wasn't happening to you.

At times  it's overwhelming, this way I feel. I see people shrug off the troubles of others and can't fathom how or why. While I'm exhausted from dwelling, they're brushing past.

I feel it now, that heaviness, and it's touching everything I do. 

I'm helpless, but I'd rather be like this than feel nothing. I'd rather care too much than not at all. 

w o r d s

Words words words. I love beautiful language, when words are carefully
selected and vivid and delectable.

For me, certain words evoke very specific mental images. For example: