It's been a tough week for me. Last weekend I wrote my FINAL final exams, handed in my last essays, and that was that...Earlier this week I cleaned out my studio, took home my furniture, paints, paper, mementos etc and essentially said goodbye to what has been my second home for the past eight months. I packed up, turned in my key, took some photos and said goodbye.
It's funny because, for as long as I can remember, I'd been fantasizing about this time. Practically since my first year of university I had been dreaming about the day that I would finish school, gleefully awaiting the end of my academic life and all the pressures that went along with it. I didn't see university as"the best years of my life"...it was just something that I had to do, something standing in the way of the real life I would lead on the other side.
I dreamt about the end for four years but somehow it snuck up on me; and to my surprise, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Leaving that studio was like breaking up with a boyfriend; it was a safe haven, a meeting point, a home away from home that connected me to the rest of the world in a way that hurts very much to lose.
Goodbye blue sky...
goodbye studio, goodbye school...
I'm adrift again.
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