g o g g l e s

I have a carefully (aka randomly) curated personal repertoire of quotes that I sound off to myself at poignant points in my life. The above gem is from Ned Kelly (Naomi Watts : "Don't make me mourn you"; Heath Ledger : "I ain't dead yet"); excellent movie, check it out.

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I've been a little absent from cyber-land lately, mainly because real-life has been extra-hectic. I'd kept it under my hat, but I did a big thing: my lovely man Josh and I have made the big leap and moved back to our hometown of Kitchener-Waterloo from Toronto. It's been a crazy and frustrating past few months; all of my things have been in storage since mid-September and I spent a few weeks drifting between friend's couches and living out of suitcases. That being said, I'm beyond excited to finally be moving into our new place on the first.

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A few weeks ago I spent a night out with my two favourite people: Josh and Marta. We saw Thor (shirtless sponge-bath wishes granted), hung out at a great little turkish-cafe on the Danforth and then had excellent midnight-snacks at Square Boy (most amazing little burgers and fries). While waiting in line for our food I tried on Marta's new glasses and pulled a Sam-face; they look excellent on her, like swim-goggles on me.

m e t r o p o l i s

 The concrete and glass: boxes in which to pack away hours, days, lifetimes.

s t u c k

Holiday weekends mean making the drive home from Toronto to Kitchener-Waterloo. In theory, it's a relatively quick and easy commute; some people even make it daily, opting to live in one city and work in another. Unfortunately for Josh and I, this easy trip habitually takes us triple the time to complete.

Last night, we hopped in the car at 5:00 and rolled into our destination around 8:30; that's three and a half hours stuck in traffic, cooped up and going crazy from hunger pains and claustrophobia. When I was younger, I relished long car trips; when we made the three hour trip up north to my cousin's farm, or journeyed one hour west to my aunt's house in London I would fill the backseat with pillows and games and snacks. Now, I feel beyond restless.

On the plus side, we got to witness a breathtaking sunset and I took advantage of the photo-op. As we drove, I told Josh the old rhyme which had comforted me as a paranoid child with a foul-weather phobia: Red sky at night, sailor's delight; red sky at morning, sailor's warning. I remember looping that saying as I drank in the blood-red horizon from the passenger or back seat of my mother's car, assuring myself that the next day would be calm and bright.

(For the record, today is nothing but blue skies and sunshine!)

o c t o b e r

I LOVE the fall. For me, it really is the most magical, enjoyable, comfortable part of the seasonal cycle; October is the month that fall/autumn really seems to kick off, and for that reason, it's one of my most beloved months.

OCTOBER, HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
LET ME COUNT THE WAYS:

I    
Cold weather = legitimate reasons to wear cardigans/tights/boots/scarves alllll the time (it should be noted that I literally dress this way all year long).

II    
Food Glorious Food!
There is no more perfect combination that Turkey+Mashed Potatoes+Gravy+Stuffing+Crans.

III  
Hallowe'en
DUH. Every year, without fail, I procrastinate/forget to think of a costume until the eleventh hour. This year, I'm trying to put some effort into things; I'm tossing it back and forth between Sailor Moon and Alice in Wonderland (although let's be honest, that's not a fair fight).
     
IV    
Thanksgiving Weekend
That's October 12th-14th this year for my non-canadian friends. Beyond the food, it's an excellent weekend of family shenanigans; I can't describe how much I love this holiday.

V  
I can now begin to legitimately plan out Christmas Presents (to give!)

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I actually can't believe that Septemblur is over. Now that I'm no longer in school, it feels like a lame place holder month; nothing much happens, the weather is whatever and all of the bees go crazy (other stories for other times).

My best friend recently moved to Roncesvalles so I've been doing some exploring in the area lately (which, to be honest, is the most exploring I've done in Toronto in a while, for shame). Her neighbourhood is beyond adorable, and I've been (surreptitiously) snapping pictures like crazy!

n i g h t . d r i v e

 

 

s u b t e r r a n i a n . w a y

When I think about how much time I spend underground, I feel a little weird; on a daily basis, I spend countless hours down in the darkness, speeding through dark tunnels and waiting idly with strangers on the edge of platforms in hollow spaces dug below earth and concrete. 

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One of my favourite books takes place primarily in the New York subway system: The Sword of Maiden's Tears by Rosemary Edghill. It's a dark tale of an elvish lord running around underground Manhattan searching for a missing magical sword and the cannibalistic monster which it spawned; it's mysterious and witty and romantic and makes me swoon. (I'm a sucker for fantasy, especially urban fantasy, and extra especially urban fantasy starring elves).

Often when I'm on the car, I look out into the passing darkness and think about things like the aforementioned people eater or Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train (a movie about other tunnel murder monsters which I'm simultaneous morbidly fascinated by and too afraid to watch). 

s p l a s h

Well, it took all summer but I finally made it to the beach! (Albeit, it was only for a fifteen minute post-work walk). 

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Water water water.

My favourite movie growing up was The Little Mermaid; I lived in the bathtub, played, read and even ate meals in the warm water (with bubbles); I wanted to grow my hair down past my bum like a mermaid princess; I spent summers in the pool with my cousins, playing elaborte role-playing games.

I look into the glittering depths and wonder after the mysteries contained beneath: a swirling and secret realm of shadows and scintillating sunbeams, of floating freedom. The dichotomy of water is endless: the Waves hold the potential for life and for death, for both tranquility and violence, for calm or chaos.

z i n e . d r e a m

Hey all! Come say hello this Sunday at the 6th annual Zine Dream Zine Fair. I'll be sharing a table with the lovely Marta Ryczko, selling prints, stickers, pins, drawings, jewellery and of course, zines!

e l e c t r i c . g r e e n

Perhaps my favourite aspect of Toronto is its balance of urban and natural; paces away from bustling streets, there are quiet neighbourhoods of heirloom houses with sprawling lawns and lush gardens. I took a walk today down one such street, feeling peaceful and detached from city life (and reality).

c o m m u t e

s u m m e r . c i t y

c y n d i

At the moment, it's approximately a thousand degrees inside my condo; I'm sweating underneath my laptop, cursing the fact that the night's passed by too quickly. I also feel a cold coming on.

While I work, background noise is an absolute necessity (otherwise, in the silence, my mind wanders to strange places and things can get a little too intense). Usually it's video looping around, familiar character voices and story lines filling the void; there are shows and movies that I've probably played hundreds of times (I once watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire four consecutive times to stay in the zone while painting). Once in a while, however, I'll switch over to music.

Tonight was a Cyndi Lauper kind of night; once I saw her name, I had to listen. She reminds me of childhood and freedom and excitement; I want to be like her, channel that spirit of intense individuality and openness and passion.

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I've been caught too, thinking about the past and playing the melancholy "what if" game. I'm happier now in life than I've ever been, but it's still impossible not to look back and sigh a little bit sometimes.

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I just wanna have fun!