I used to compalin, a lot.
After some reflection, I understand that this was a side-effect of internalizing my feelings. If I was forcing myself to be quiet about big things the majority of the time, then once I was around someone I felt able to talk to, I unleashed a constant stream of negativity. It was an ugly trait, something that I'm ashamed to admit doing.
There was a day several years ago when I vowed to resist complaining for an entire day; surprisingly (or perhaps not) it was one of the best days that I'd experienced in a while; I realized that by being negative, even if only jokingly, I was only perpetuating more negativity and cheating myself out of happiness. I often think back to that day, reminding myself to quit whining unnecessarily.
There are still times though, when I need to vent: when the streetcar short-turns in the rain and I have to walk home, when someone takes advantage of me or is mean, when reality falls short of my expectations. I need to try to remember though to keep my problems in perspective, especially when what I'm complaining about is myself.
It goes like this: I set goals, don't achieve them, get upset, reflect and say to myself, poor baby, how awful for you. It's self-deprecation, which isn't really that much better than complaining.
What I really need to do is push myself harder to achieve the things that I set out to do. I want to continue to push myself to be the kind of person who has nothing to complain about.
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